Sometimes I wonder if I've changed whether for the good or for the worse. My friends knew that I've changed. They said it's not a bad thing but how I react and do things are different. So I asked myself this, is it because I'm growing up since I will be entering the adulthood? I see things differently since life is too short. I used to have a strong stand of not being in a relationship. But what happened now? I'm already in one. So I guess I've changed my perspective.

People also thought that I'm too mushy ever since I wrote a lot of those poems to him. Well I'm not a mushy person to begin with, but slowly I learn to express myself. Sometimes I would just write them because that's what I'm feeling. Furthermore this is my first serious relationship ever. I won't know what to expect in a relationship. I'm learning and along the way I see and learn things which I never knew all this while.

Yes I admit that once I said that one shouldn't be in a relationship now. I said that just to convince myself that relationship is a waste of time and a form of distraction. But when I'm in a relationship I realised I can proved myself that I can juggle school, family, friends and him at the same time. And of course I'm proud of myself. It means to say that I've set my priorities right too. I know what I want in my life. Let's say if I'm not going to have a boyfriend now, eventually I will have one isn't it? Initially I'm scared to be in a relationship whenever I see what my friends went through. But when a nice guy comes along, why not give him and me a chance to be together? Sometimes it's best to give it a try because you can never know what's in store for you.

People always thought that just because I wrote all those mushy and lovey-dovey stuff means I'm head over heels and mesmerize with my boyfriend. I won't say my relationship is a perfect one. Along the way there are bound to have problems. That's when you will learn to overcome problems and learn your mistakes. I admit that I do commit silly mistakes unknowingly. I must say that's part and parcel of a relationship. I will miss him so much and longing him to be there for me. Sometimes it takes such problems to make you realised that you love someone so much. We do take things for granted. We should never doubted someone's love for you and just treasure every seconds when you are with your loved ones. I know I've been through quite a bit till I fell sick since I've been having sleepless nights and kept crying. But then I believe that God will make me stronger. Now I guess time will tell and I will just have to wait patiently.