Bump...Bump...Bump...

Finally I get to go out with my fellow habbo pals plus a minah.
We went to East Coast.
Actually we wanted to have a picnic but unfortunately they were late and so we just went ahead to roller blade.
This is my FIRST time roller blading.
I'm totally BAD at it.
I couldn't even balance myself and I think I had fallen for 5 times.
It's very hard to move since the roller blades are heavy and yet you have to balance your body weight at the same time.
The ground can be slippery and that was when I would be looking like an idiot trying to balance myself before moving slowly.
They had to hold my hands and guide me.
Eventually I managed to be on my own.
Slow and steady.
But still I can't get the technique right.
I need to practice more.
I think my butt needs a good rest from those falls.
Haha.
The worst fall would be going back to the rental shop.
Part of my spinal cord hit the ground and my palm looked as though there is internal bleeding.
But I didn't feel any pain on my palm except for my butt and spinal cord.
It's not as easy as it looks to roller blade.
This would be once in a lifetime experience I guess.
Apart from that, I'm also grateful that Nad and Lisa made some traditional kuih for me =D
Once again, I had fun with those girls...

Bitter? Sweet? Bitter-Sweet?

It's funny that love can make you happy and sad.
Once a friend of mine said this: "Love is bitter-sweet and it's worth it".
I finally realised the true meaning to that statement.
Of course there are happy moments in your relationship but eventually there are problems you have to deal with along the way.
It will make you stronger.
And from these problems you will learn something plus your love for each other will grow.
I even remembered that one of my friends said "Why can't I have a perfect relationship with no problems at all?"
One thing for sure is that you can't compare your relationship with the others.
You may see a couple "romantically in love" on the outside but who knows back at home they would always be quarrelling?
I'm not trying to say that couples should quarrel all the time.
It's just that I want to point out that being in a relationship it's not as easy as it looks like.
It's not all about loving each other and there's more to it.
These problems will also make you mature and enable you to think carefully.
It's best not to blame each other but try to be alone and think why did the problem occur in the first place.
Re-evaluate the situation and talk things out.
Eventually time will heal.
All I can say that, if you love someone that much, you would always be there for him/her no matter what happens.

Have I ever...

Have I ever told you
that if I sit really still and silent,
sometimes,
I like to think
I can hear your heart beating
in time with mine?

Have I ever told you
that when I look you speak to me
through lines and cords,
and bytes and ram,
I imagine your voice,
whispering into my ear?

Have I ever told you
that I wait out each day
in anticipation,
wanting only an hour or two,
just a second in space and time
to feel close to you?

Have I ever told you
that there has been times
when I ached for you,
ached for you so badly
that the emotions overwhelmed me...
and so I sat and cried?

Have I ever told you
that sometimes,
I will reach out touching your name
on this cold screen before me,
wishing I could reach in
and pull you to me?

Have I ever told you
that after the first time I heard
the sound of your voice,
thousand of miles away,
I sat all night,
turning the conversation over and over
in my mind examining it,
like some newly discovered species of flower?

Have I ever told you
that I would give everything up,
just for one night
to be able to lay near you,
to feel your chest rise and fall,
with each breath you take ,
just to know you are real?

Have I ever told you
that I dream of you often,
I dream of reaching out
and touching your hand,
simply to let me know
that you are there,
and everything is ok?

Have I ever told you,
have I yet to tell you...
that I love you?

Well I think that I'm in no position to define love.
Different people would have their own definitions.
Seriously, I've never been in a serious relationship before and I don't even know all these lovey-dovey stuff.
I'm the type of person who don't express it with words but more of expressing it through actions.
But slowly I'm learning and I realised many things.
You don't have to show love by always saying "I love you".
Well for me, I think that if you say those 3 words everyday, eventually it would lose its true meaning.
Oh well some people might disagree with me.
But this is just my opinion.
Last week, I read a magazine and there was this small section about holding hands.
I thought that holding hands is unnecesary due to a reason.
But in fact, women feel calm and secure when guys hold their hands.
And I agree with that.
I think that it's best to buy the things your loved ones like.
They don't have to be the most expensive things in the world.
Or you could even make/do something special for him/her.
It's the thought that counts you see.
If you love someone, you will do anything for him/her and they will appreciate it a lot.

=)

I feel a sense of relief knowing that I passed all my subjects.
The grades are not that fantastic but still I'm happy that my effort was paid off.
I can still remember the times when I had only 3 hours of sleep and it was definitely not a good one because I would still be trying to recall what I've just memorised.
Well now I can just rest my mind and enjoy my holidays.

=D

Mistakes

People have done a fair share of mistakes in their life.
Well including myself.
Indeed I was foolish and stupid to create such a mistake.
I doubted someone dearest to me.
I should very well know that things were not what they seemed.
Emotions and insecurities got the better of me.
I regretted it.
I kept crying the entire day and blamed myself.
I just hope things would be the way like it used to.
But whatever it is, I don't want to expect so much and I just leave it to fate.

P.S: I'm truly sorry for what happened

Why are we blinded by love?
Let's say for example your guy cheated on you but you pretend that nothing happened.
You forgive him and live life normally.
Are you able to live happily knowing that you are actually hurt?
You don't want to start a fight because you don't want him to leave you because of your attitude and all.
Is that fair?
I know it's never easy.
I don't know why some people would have the heart to hurt their loved ones.
Love is not a game.
You can't possibly treat it that way.
It's a serious matter.
But some people don't even know the true meaning of love.
Why would people want to have flings when they actually found the one?
Sometimes I don't understand these people.
They would get bored with one and find others.
Vice versa.
I think it's a stupid thing to do.
In the first place, why would you want to settle to a relationship if you know you can't commit yourself to only one person.
People don't give a damn about such things.
They are so selfish and self-centered.
I just hope those people who don't treasure their love to vanish from this world for good.

When I saw the e-mail from one of my classmates, I was like ......................
It's regarding our class gathering.
To make things even worse, it will be at our careperson's place -.-
I don't know.
A part of me says that it will be a waste of time.
Another part of me says that it's a class gathering and it will be bad if I don't turn up.
But the place is damn far.
The nearest MRT to her place is Yio Chu Kang.
It will be this Saturday.
Priscilla and I are still contemplating.
Should we go?
I rather stay at home or go to Bedok Reservoir Park to workout with Priscilla.
Wasting my time having lunch somewhere far...

.. .-..---...-. -.-----..-

Since I got nothing to do, I explored blogger and realised there's such thing as "Permissions".
Haha.
So now I've made my blog private and only selected people can view it.
Well this is the best way so that others including my family could not read my blog.
Sometimes I feel like penning down my thoughts and feelings but I'm living in fear that my family will eventually find out.

Ok enough with that I shall say what my heart feels right now.
I've never thought that I would find a guy and fall in love.
Initially I was reluctant to do so.
But then when the love is there, it's there.
You can't run away from it.
I've always thought that I would be concentrating on my studies and have a stable career first before getting into a relationship.
Come to think of it, I'm a teacher-to-be.
I just have to complete 2 diplomas and that's it.
My future has already been set for me.

Let's say I will only find a guy once I started my job.
I'll be like 23 plus.
Isn't that too old to find a guy?
I guess by then Nurul, Priscilla, Wani and even Xiufeng will be known as "Mrs....."
Or what if by that age I still couldn't find one?
I think I will live a miserable life.

So ya I think I've made the right choice.
Let's say I don't give this relationship a chance.
I think I might regret it.

Well I'm happy as I am now.
I know I'm not a romantic person.
I don't express my love like others do.
Sometimes I don't know whether I'm shy or scared to do so.
Haha.
Up till today I don't even know what to call him.
I don't even call his name.
But as long as he knows how I feel about him, I think it's good enough.
Eventually I will be more open I guess.
=)

I'm truly grateful that he appeared in my life.
He may not be the perfect guy I was hoping for but he's always been there for me.
Words just couldn't describe how I feel about him
If I have one wish....I hope he's the one in my life.

<3

My friends had their last paper today.
So they planned to go out.
I met them at school.
Surprisingly, Priscilla and I wore similar outfits.
What can I say, we are twins of different parents, race and culture.
Haha.

We went to International Family buffet at Tampines Mall.
$26.33 per head.
As usual we took so many food.
Oysters, prawns, tempura, sushi, sashimi, crabs, siew mai, oreo cheesecake, steak, pasta, calamansi juice, milo, ice tea, ice-cream, fruits, sotong balls,teriyaki chicken, nuggets...
Lol.
I know it seems a lot but we took in small portions except for some =P

Sadly, only the 4 of us could make it: Nurul, Fattasha, Priscilla and me.
Wani had a family affair.
Xiufeng had a date.
Amanda had something urgent on.
Hopefully all of us can make it some other time.

Priscilla did a lot of shopping today.
I think she's too happy.
She bought body spray, fake nails, earrings and necklace.
Well I bought a heart-shaped necklace which I've been wanting it so badly.
It was on sale.
30-70% storewide discount at Perlini's Silver.
Of course I took this opportunity to buy it.
I couldn't resist.
Fattasha bought this 100 love songs cd.
Nurul only did window shopping.
Haha.

We wanted to watch a movie.
But we didn't.
We rather keep the money or buy something else.
Anyway Nurul had to rush off.
We also couldn't decide which movie to watch.
So we just walked around.
All of us were so tired...
And now I'm having a bad headache.

Ciao.

Words just couldn't describe how I feel today.
Finally exams are over and done with.
I don't know what will the results be.
But I'm just going to think positive and hope for the best.
Finally I had my beautiful sleep last night till i slept through this afternoon.
I had 2 sleepless nights.
Seriously I need a long break.
Come to think of it, I can't believe year 1 has ended.
How time flies....

=)