My Love

Dearest Asyraf,

Let me start by saying that I thank God every night since I found you. You came into my life when everything seemed so dark but you provided the light to find my way. I've never been so certain of anything in my life like I am of us. You have totally changed my outlook in life and I thank you for that. I never thought that someone could love me like you do, but guess what? I love you that much too. I feel as if I'm walking over clouds just thinking about you. You make my life complete.

I love you because you bring the best out of me. I love your terrific sense of humor. Every time I look in your eyes, my heart misses a beat. I enjoy doing things with you and spending time with you. You are simply irresistible. Sometimes I feel lost and out of touch, but when you are there, I feel safe. Your voice soothes me. I could sit here and try to tell you just how I feel, only I can't find the words other than I am happy we met and have gotten together.

You make me feel loved, you make me feel needed, but more importantly, you make me feel wanted. That is something that I never felt before. We have slowly grown into a beautiful relationship that only you and I can understand. You are becoming my best friend, my lover and my soul mate. You are a blessing that my entire being is very thankful for. I feel that we were made to love, listen, understand, and work through all times in our lives together, a truly rare gift.

I love you, Asyraf...

Love Always,
Emillia

I've deleted my previous entry. I feel that I should no longer write any sad entries. Whenever I happened to read it again, it just put me to tears. And I tend to reflect back what had happened. It was painful. I try not to look back and just live my life to the fullest. I don't want this to affect my relationship. I just have to stay strong and hope for the best :)

Sex Poems

I found this list of dirty poems on friendster's bulletin. I can't believe that people can actually come up with such poems. So here it goes.....

Roses are red
Lemons are sour
Open ur legs
And give me an hour
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Kissing is a habit
Fucking is a game
Guys get all the pleasure
Girls get all the pain
10 minutes of pleasure
9 months of pain
3 Days in the hospital
A baby without a name
The father is a bastard
The mother is a whore
This would never happened
If the rubber hadn't tore
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Sex is like math
You subtract the clothes
Add the bed
Divide the legs
And pray to god
You don't multiply
------------------------------
Roses are red
Grass is green
Open your legs
And I'll fill you with cream
------------------------------
Sex is good
Sex is fine
Doggy Style & 69
Just for fun
Or gettin' paid
Everyone likes gettin' laid
------------------------------
Roses are nice
Violets are fine
I'll be the six
If you be the nine
------------------------------
Sex is evil
Sex is a sin
Sins are forgiven
So stick it in

Happy Mothers' Day!

This morning I gave my mum the bracelet and wished her.
Drama took place in the kitchen.
When I gave it to her, she got so emotional.
I also couldn't help it and cried.
She hugged and kissed me.
I know that she's really happy and that words just couldn't described how she felt at that point of time.
She immediately wore the bracelet when we went out just now.
My mum loved the design and the colour.
What can I say, when comes to jewelry I know which ones are the best :)

Today Asyraf accompanied me to the library again. This time round to find some books on sewing. Seriously I'm bad at sewing. So I need to get ideas for my next assignment. The main focus of today's outing was to find gifts for our beloved mothers. Tomorrow is Mothers' Day. So we wanted to get something nice for them. Actually Asyraf had something in mind what to get for his mum. A brooch. I suggested Chomel. We went to Vivo's branch. But we couldn't find the shop. Can you believe it? We even looked at the directory and the shop is not listed. I wonder whether the shop is still there or not. Furthermore Vivo is a huge place. Somehow we wasted our trip to Vivo. In the end we went to Tampines. There's a Chomel section at Isetan. He bought a pink butterfly brooch while I bought a purple bracelet. I couldn't resist myself from looking at all those pretty and sparkling jewelry. Hehe. I just wish I can have all of them especially the necklaces and bracelets. Asyraf even bought a cake. It's called Mother's Day True Love. A nice heart shaped cake with lots of frosting. I bet his mother won't eat that much of the cake. It's more of him finishing up the whole cake. Haha. Well after that he had to rush off to celebrate this occasion with his family since tomorrow he's working. So we took a cab home. And I can't wait to give the bracelet to my mum =)

I've been tagged...

Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird random things, facts, or habits about yourself. At the end, you choose 5 people to be tagged, list their names and why you choose them. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you're tagged" on their profile and tell them to read your latest blog entry.

1. I'm attached and my family don't even know about it because it's not wise to tell them.

2. I hate insects and creepy crawlers.

3. I have sweaty palms. They will sweat under cold conditions or when I'm nervous.

4. I LOVE jewelry especially necklaces and bracelets.

5. I'm mixed blood. Half Chinese, a quarter Javanese and a quarter Indian.

6. I LOVE fish and potatoes.

7. I have a bump on my right ring finger.

8. I like to look at homosexuals especially gays. They are a group of interesting people. You can simply laugh just by looking at them.

9. I can talk on the phone for hourssssss...

10. I got a feeling that I've found my other half and I don't have to search anymore.

Person No. 1: Asyraf because I know he will somehow do this.

Person No 2: Priscilla because I want her to post an entry since she seldom update her blog.

Person No. 3: Wani because I want to know her hidden secrets.

Person No. 4: Nurul because she always update her blog.

Person No. 5: Supiah because I know she got lots of things to say about herself.

Ever since I had diarrhea, somehow my appetite have changed. I don't feel hungry at all. I couldn't even finish my food. People might think that I'm wasting food and that is something very bad. This worries me. My friends thought that I'm just giving excuses and that this is my way of losing weight. But NO! That's not the case. I don't know why but I just don't feel like eating at all. At the most I could just drink and eat some snacks or just eat few spoonfuls of a meal. Could it be stress? Maybe. The fact that school has started and it's possible that my body is in a shock. Haiz.... I just hope that this is just temporary.

Today I had the worst diarrhea. I think I've broken my own record of going to the toilet in a day. It all started from 5 am. I thought that it would not be that serious. Until I had to go again an hour later. Apart from that, I also felt nausea and wanted to throw up. Whenever I see or smell food I would just have no appetite. I told my mum I don't feel like going to school in this kind of situation. She asked me to see the doctor. The doctor said it might be stomach flu or food poisoning. I know that yesterday I only ate food from home. It couldn't be the food that my mum cooked or else the whole family might be suffering diarrhea. Then mum said it could be the food that she bought on Saturday. It was nasi jenganan. I remembered clearly that it tasted weird. So it's possible that the food might had turn bad and I just happened to eat it. The funny thing is that my brother also suffered diarrhea on Thursday after he drank this iced coffee from his school. I even laughed at him for going to the toilet so many times. So I guess this must be retribution. Haha. But it was a coincidence that 2 siblings suffered from diarrhea in the same week, different day but ate different food.

One

One look into your eyes and I'm hooked,
One smile from you and I melt,
One feel of your warmth and I get the chills,
One touch of you and you're all I think about,
One beat of your heart and mine beats twice as fast,
One touch of your body and I feel so secure,
One touch of your lips and I feel like you're mine forever,
One feel of your love and I feel like I am the only one for you,
now this is all true, that's why I love you....

Hero

As you all know that I'm taking PBPN which is Principles of Biochemistry and Physiology in Nutrition, I had a hard time understanding this subject. Furthermore I was given a homework which I need to do some research and applying what I've learnt. Yesterday, I did try to find on the internet but to no avail. So I turned to Asyraf for help since he used to be a bio student. It was hard to converse through MSN. So we met just now at the library. We referred to one of the books. He had to read up my notes in order to refresh his memory. I could tell he was tired from reading my notes. Haha. What do you expect right? He didn't touch any books or whatsoever for more than a year. So his brain can't really function fast enough when it comes to studying again.
He managed to attempt all those questions. It's ok if the answers are wrong. Well at least he tried his best to help me. I really appreciate his effort. And so he got his reward =D

He's my hero <3

Can you believe it? It's only the second week of school and we have to cram our brains with so many information. Now I know why they give us only 2 examinable subjects this semester. PBPN is a lot to handle. First topic only and it's already killing me. What about other seven topics? NLS is quite manageable for now I guess. But soon there will be 2 projects coming in. I'm just scared that I can't make it for PBPN. Let's just wait and see....

Here I am blogging early in the morning. The reason being because I'm supposed to have APEL make up lesson. Unfortunately, Xiu Feng sms-ed and said that the lesson is cancelled. I woke up early!!! I could actually sleep in for another hour or so. I was contemplating whether to go to school on my own by bus or let my dad send me. At that point of time, I thought that since I'm ready and my dad was on his way to work, so might as well let him send me to school. Now I'm all alone in the library. I'm so mad... Arghhh! I wish I could sleep right now on my comfy bed at home =(

Emillia

While I was arranging those old books in my closet, I happened to take a look at one of my files where I kept all the certs throughout my primary and secondary school years. Then I came across this piece of paper. It was a research work which I did during secondary 3. My social studies teacher asked me to find out the meaning of my name. I thought I wouldn't be able to find out but eventually I did on the internet. I give an accuracy of 90% for the meaning of my name =)

"Emillia has given you a rather quiet, reserved, serious and studious nature. You have sensitivity and appreciation for the finer and deeper things of life, the beauties of nature, music, art and literature. The people who mean the most to you are those who can offer you intellectual companionship. It is only when you are among those who understand your deeper nature that you can really be yourself. The experience of having your remarks taken lightly or belittled, particularly during the early years of your life, has caused you to keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself. You do not express yourself spontaneously when conversing with others; hence other people may regard you as being aloof, and even unfriendly. Your difficulty in putting your deeper thoughts and feelings into words can lead to problems in more intimate associations. This name has caused you to live much within yourself. You are rather easily hurt or offended. At such times you can withdraw into a mood, and may not even speak to others. Aside from these points, this name contains many fine qualities. You are thoughtful, analytical person, and you know your own mind, even though you may not speak it. You are very conscientious and competent in all that you do. You take seriously any responsibilities that you have -- in the home, in the community or at the job".

Superstitions

Yesterday night while I was sitting in front of my laptop, my left eye kept twitching non-stop.
I don't know whether I'm superstitious or not but my friends used to tell me what it means if your left top/bottom or right top/bottom eye twitch.
So I decided to check it out on the internet.
Scientifically, it is due to lack of sleep which I agree.
On the other hand, according to myths it means bad luck.
Well whatever it is I don't want to be overly-believing in superstitions.

Here are some common superstitions:

Chinese Marriages

1. Double Happiness

Each half of the symbol is the Chinese character for happiness, pronounced as "Xi". This is to represent the wish for the two young newlyweds to be happy. This symbol is only used to symbolize marital happiness. It does not exist in Chinese writing.

2. Shang Tou: "Styling of Hair"

On the wedding day, the bride's hair is combed up by a person of "good fate" (haoming) -- one who has a spouse, and many children and grandchildren. This ritual will ensure matrimonial togetherness and a large family for the couple (zi sun man tang).

3. Auspicious Dates

Chinese wedding dates are usually decided using the Chinese almanac. Almanacs generally make predictions of all the auspicious dates on the Chinese calendar. Besides wedding dates, the almanacs also provide couples with an auspicious hour at which the wedding should begin.

The Chinese believe that couples should not decide on the wedding date themselves based on the almanac.

A Feng Shui Shi Fu (fortune teller) must be consulted. The fortune teller will provide horoscope information and analyze whether the couple is compatible.
Generally, weddings should not be conducted during the Hungry Ghost Festival or if someone in the family has just passed away.

Births and Children

1. One-Month Baby

The Chinese believe that when a child is born, he cannot be immediately accepted into the family because a new-born baby is believed to be weak and sickly. The child is only “accepted” into the family when he is one-month old. This is what the Chinese term Man Yue. The day is celebrated with a Red Egg and Ginger Party.

The Red Egg and Ginger Party originated in China a very long time ago. On this day, special lucky red money paper are boiled to make red dye for eggs which were given to friends and relatives who would in turn bestow gifts upon the child. The eggs are believed to symbolize “fertility and a renewal of life.” Also their rounded shape is traditionally associated with harmony and unity. Red is used to dye the eggs because it symbolizes happiness and good luck.

Besides red eggs, gingers (”Jiang”) are another important food element used on this day. Gingers are important because they are believed to provide yang or hotness to the nutritional needs of the new mother and are considered to be healthy.

2. Items to Avoid

There are many superstitions with regards to the behavior of pregnant Chinese woman. There are two that are most common. The first is that pregnant women should avoid using glues or other adhesives. This is because they are believed to cause birth complications.

The second is that pregnant women should not attempt to kill or harm any animal because their child will look like the animal they attempt to kill. For example, if a pregnant woman tries to kill an ant, the newborn will look like an ant.

Other Chinese Superstitions

1. Colours

Black (Color of death) – Evil, unhappiness and bad fortune (used mainly for funerals)

Red (Color of luck) – Good luck and happiness (best known as the “New Year color”

White (Color of purity) – Purity and moderation (Used with black in funerals to symbolize pure state of the dead)

2. Time

Don’t cut your nails at night. You will be haunted by evil spirits.
If a dog howls continuously after midnight, it has seen a ghost.

3. Death

The spirit of a dead person will return to visit his loved ones on the seventh day of his death.
The deceased children or grandchildren cannot cut their hair for 49 days.
The elders cannot send a younger person off on his/her “last journey”.
After returning from a funeral, one must wash him/herself with holy water to “clean” the body.

Malay Marriages

1. Men

Young men should not complain that they can’t stand the heat or else their fiancé would leave them. This superstition probably arose so that they would grow up to be men of character and be ready to handle whatever obstacles that come in their way.

There are also some superstitions associated with when they go to a girl’s house to ask for her hand in marriage. If the girl is bathing when he arrives, it indicates that the girl is patient and kind-hearted. If the girl is grinding flour, she will pass away shortly after they marry. If she is hanging clothes, it indicates that the girl is hardworking.

2. Women

Young ladies cannot sing while cooking because they will marry an old man if they do so. However, this superstition probably came about because to prevent any distractions from cooking or mishaps in the kitchen.

It is also believed that a lady eating the neck of a chicken will result in her marrying an old man. or that she will have a stiff neck during her wedding. Similarly a lady who eats a chicken head will be sleepy during her wedding. This superstition probably arose to guard against them from choking on the bones in the chicken. It is also possible that the elders wanted to eat the best part of the chicken for themselves.

Ladies should also not wake up late or it’ll be difficult to get a marriage partner. The truth is that they should get an early start each day. It is not polite to still be sleeping while the elders are up preparing breakfast.

The ladies cannot change places while eating or they will end up remarrying a lot of times. This superstition is probably to guard against discourtesy.

They should not use a mirror that is cracked or her face will become pale during her wedding ceremony. This superstition originated to guard against the danger of dust or glass fragments that can enter the eye.

Births and Children

1. Actions to Avoid During Pregnancy

During pregnancy, a woman is not allowed to do various things. First, she is not allowed to speak ill of anyone. She can also not talk about any kinds of disabilities and she's discouraged from looking at a disabled person. If she does not do these things, the baby will develop disabilities too.

Pregnant women should not quarrel with their mothers-in-law or their pregnancy will face complications. In reality, this superstition probably developed to maintain harmony in the family.

Pregnant women should not sleep in the afternoon or the baby's head will grow big. The father of the child is not allowed to blow any wind instruments. This is because the child will grow up to be a crybaby.

2. Dietary Restrictions During Pregnancy

A popular superstition in olden times was that pregnant women were not allowed to eat squid. It is believed that a ghost could easily strangle the foetus using the squid’s many tentacles. Hence squid should not be eaten during pregnancy for fear of complications when giving birth later such as the baby getting strangled by its umbilical cord.

Other food that should not be taken include food that is believed to poison the foetus such as bananas and some types of fish. They should also not eat animals that have scales or rough skins as it is believed that the baby will develop skin problems when he is born.

3. After Birth

The baby’s head and bellybutton cannot be kissed while he is sleeping or he will have a short life. The palm should also not be kissed as the baby will grow up as a person who likes to ask for favours. The parents cannot eat the baby’s leftover food or carry them on the shoulder as the baby will grow up to be rude to them.

Death and Supernatural

Young ladies are not supposed to climb trees. This is because when they die, their corpse cannot be buried easily. However the superstition probably originated to ensure that the ladies behave in a well-mannered way.

Kids should not raise up their legs when lying on their front, as it is believed that it might cause their mother to die.

Nails should not be cut at night as the person’s life will be shortened.

Hitting a child with a pillow will result in him having a shorter life.

If it drizzles while the sun is shining, someone will die in bloodshed.

If a person has rice stuck to his leg, he will dream of meeting a ghost during his sleep.

Other Malay Superstitions

Do not shake your legs when you are sitting down or you will always be in debt. This is probably to discourage a sitting position that is not polite.

If a plate or cup falls while you are holding it, your family will face a disaster.

Do not open an umbrella in the house or a snake will enter the house.

If a person keeps his hand in his pocket while walking, he is an arrogant person.

Eating rice straightaway from the pot will cause you to have diarrhoea.

Do not wake up in the afternoon or you will find it hard to make a living.

Eating while walking will result in a stomachache.

Do not sew clothes while you are wearing it or your eyesight will deteriorate.

Sleeping after a meal will result in a bloated stomach afterwards.

Do not sit on a pillow or you will get a swelling.

Indian Marriages

1. Stages of the Wedding

One week before the wedding, the bride-to-be and seven married women in her family should make small balls of chana dal (lentils). They are dried and sent to the groom’s house to ensure that their house always has plenty to eat. Also right before the wedding, the groom’s family and close male friends rub turmeric paste on his face and chest. Turmeric leaves the skin with a golden glow. It’s supposed to bring good luck and ward off bad spirits. In India, the bride is usually sent off with a dowry from her parents. The bags and trunks, however, should not be locked. This is a signal that the parents are giving full authority of their child to her new family.

If the bride cries during the wedding ceremony, she won’t ever cry again for the length of her marriage. Directly after the wedding ceremony, when the bride is driven away, she should look back as a signal that though she’s leaving the family she will return for visits. If she doesn’t look back, it could suggest bad relations between the families. If the bride rips her wedding dress on the day, it means the marriage will end in death. This was probably begun simply as a caution to be careful and look good during the wedding. When the son-in-law comes to fetch his bride from her parents’ home, the gates should be oiled for good luck. Apparently, the real reason for this superstition is that in years past, iron gates were very creaky. So, to prevent these sounds, the gates were oiled.

Finally, several superstitions govern what happens after the wedding. If the bride steps into her new home left foot first, it’s considered unlucky. When she enters her new house, the bride picks up seven silver dishes off the floor. The more noises made while picking up the dishes, the greater the number of fights between the couple.

When the bride enters her new homes, flower petals are thrown in front of her by young girls. This is done to ensure a happy future path for the bride. This was probably originally begun simply as a welcoming ritual for the new bride. Lastly, to remain happy, the bride should always wear earrings!

Births and Children

1. Pregnancy

Pregnant women should not be photographed. Their requests for food and things are generally agreed to because it’s thought that refusal will lead the child to have ear diseases. A toad falling on a pregnant woman can cause diseases to the child. A woman who is bitten by a scorpion during pregnancy will immunize the child to scorpion bites. A nest being built in the house by a bird or a wasp is an assurance of safe delivery.

At the time of an eclipse, the pregnant woman and her husband must be careful not to do anything that could harm their child. Anything they do could be affected upon the child. For example, cutting a chicken leg could result in a legless child as the child’s leg would be cut off too. Eclipses are looked upon as evil by Indians - probably because of the Hindu belief that the sun is the giver of all life, while the moon governs birth characteristics. One or the other being hidden means chaos on pregnancy and birth.

2. The Birth

In Punjab, the pregnant woman is put in a separate room where no one but the midwife and some of the family’s older women are allowed to go. An iron knife and bangle are kept under the pillow; they are meant to be protection against evil spirits.

When the child is born, the women there at the time call out that a girl is born even if it’s a boy. This is done on purpose because of a fear that the happiness of a son’s birth will result in the mother not releasing her placenta and spreading poison through her body.

After the mother gives birth, she is supposed to count the beams of the roof because of a belief that the number she counts will equal the number of sons she bears. The placenta and severed cord are buried in a corner of the house, because of belief that if someone steps over it, a great misfortune will befall the mother or the child.

3. Auspicious Birth Times

There are various times that are good and bad for a child to be born. A child shouldn’t be born at midday or midnight. A child born on Saturday will be a heavy burden on his or her parents. To assuage this, the parents must give donate something at the child’s birth.

A child should also not be born with Chitra as the birth star; this is because Chitragupta, the faithful servant of Yama was born under this star. Lord Yama is the God of Death, and Chitragupta is his chief minister and younger brother who decides whether people are sent to heaven or hell after their deaths. The father will become a beggar if he has a son born under this star.

To be born in Swati star is bad for any child. There doesn’t seem to be any real reasoning for this theory, but girls born in Swati are said to have bad health, while boys born in Swati are said to suffer both financially and mentally

A man born in Bharani will rule the earth. But if he is born in the first half of that day, he will cause his father’s death. Being born in Rohini is inauspicious for the child’s uncle. A girl who is born in Avittam will be able to find gold even in a pot of bran, while Pooradam is an undesirable star for girls.

4. Birth Order

A daughter should be born in odd numbers in the birth sequence (i.e. first, third, fifth). A fourth-born girl is supposed to ruin the house, while a fifth-born girl will bring gold in. A fifth-born boy on the other hand will squander away the house’s wealth. A sixth-born girl can bring either prosperity or poverty. A seventh-born girl will bring poverty to the family – she can’t even be successful as a beggar. An eighth-born girl destroys everything. A tenth-born girl makes all wealth fly away. With these beliefs, parties in a marriage find out the birth order of the bride and groom.

5. The Child

If a child gets his first tooth on top, it is considered an ill omen to the maternal uncle. When the maternal uncle sees this child, he should touch his teeth with a silver cup and then offer it to the child as a gift – to prevent the ill omen from coming true.

When the child’s first tooth falls out, it is placed in a lump of cow dung. This is a symbol of fertility. It is then thrown over the roof, because of a belief that this action will hasten the re-growth of the teeth.

Sometimes it is believed that an “evil eye” is causing a child’s illness. When the person who is suspected of giving this "evil eye" next visits, someone collects a handful of earth in which he stepped. This handful is then circled three times clockwise around the child’s head to ward off evil. It is then thrown in the oven – to burn up the evil gaze. Another way to turn the "evil eye" before it can affect the child is to draw a black dot on the child's forehead.

If the first two children die, the third child’s death is averted by disfiguring him. The left nostril is pierced and a gold wire ring is put through it. This is done to make the child ugly and he is also given a humble name. This is done to avert people’s attention

Death

Old people with prolonged illnesses are expected to worsen or die on the day of the new moon. This day is called “heavy day” as it exacts a heavy death toll. People suffering from paralytic attacks are supposed to die three days, three months or three years after the first attack. Dreaming of a temple, car in motion or burglary foretells the death of a near relation.

When a person is about to die, he is removed from his bed and put on the floor with his feet pointing north. Before doing this, some people smear the floor with dung paste and spread grass over it. This is because there is a common belief that a person who dies on his bed becomes a ghost. A gift should be made to charity by the person’s family at this time. A cow is the best thing to give away (in the Hindu view). This is because when the person dies, it is believed that he will have to cross a wide river. If he can hold on to the cow’s tail when crossing, he will be able to pass over easier.

Other Indian Superstitions

A black cat crossing your path will bring you bad luck.

If somebody is leaving, do not call out their name from behind as it can be bad luck.

You should not wash your hair on Thursday if you only have one brother. This is because the word for Thursday is “Veer-var” meaning “Brother-day”.

If you sneeze, it means someone is talking to you.

If your ears turn red, someone is criticizing you.

If you hear a dog whining it means that it has seen a spirit.

Jingling keys signifies many fights are taking place in that home.

If someone is traveling, you should give them some sugar so they have a sweet journey.

If you drop a comb, it means a guest is coming to your home.

If you’re cutting your nails and someone steps on the nail cuttings, they will become your enemy.

On the first day of the lunar month, you should not go to the doctor as it will mean that you will continue going throughout the month.

If you dream about someone’s marriage, a friend or family member will die. On the other hand, if you dream about a death, a marriage will take place soon.

Hiccupping is a sign that someone is missing you.

Cutting your nails at night could shorten your life span.